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Sunday, June 30, 2013

Hiroshima, Mon Amour.

I Lost My Husband to Cancer

Hiroshima, Mon Amour.

By: sweetmeisje
Written on April 8th, 2010
You saw nothing in Hiroshima. Nothing.
Cancer, and death. Cancer, unfairness, death, solitude, pain, and war inside a body that was not designed to fight this threat. I saw nothing, and yet, felt how every day the deadly potency of the illness in his body consumed it. Like the Hiroshima bomb, this cancer was dropped in his heart and destroyed it completely to the core. 


I saw the patience, the innocence, the apparent meekness with which the temporary survivors of Hiroshima adapted to a fate so injust that the imagination, usually so fertile, is silent before it.
After they informed of his deadly cancer, and later the methastasis in his eyes, I tried hard to be strong while watching him dying slowly. No, it was not a death like in Hiroshima, where the city was suddenly lifted and then burned to its roots, but to me the effect was as impressive and anihilating. It was killing me too, eating all the flesh and bone slowly, and removing the spirit. He was always smiling, though, he was always happy and energetic, and I tried to keep up with his pace, as usual. "Everything will be alright", he told me repeatedly. Deep inside I knew it wouldn't... not then, not ever again...
 
Like you, I am endowed with memory. I know what it is to forget.
Like you, I too have struggled with all my might, not to forget. Like you, I forgot.
Like you, I longed for a memory beyond consolation, a memory of shadows and stone. 
 
For my part I struggled everyday with all my might against the horror of no longer understanding the reason to remember. Why deny the obvious necessity of remembering?
And yet the pain of your skin missing on mine, your voice that I cannot hear anymore, the memories fading slowly about your laughter, the feeling of your fingers on my back, your scent on the shirts hurts so much sometimes I wish I could forget... but no, I promised you I would never forget, and I never will. 
I meet you. I remember you. Who are you? You're destroying me. You're good for me. How could I know this city was tailor made for love? How could I know you fit me like a glove? I like you. How unlikely. How low all of a sudden. How sweet. You cannot know.
I don't scream anymore. I've become reasonable. They say "she's become reasonable".
Of course, as everyone says, life goes on. I must get up every morning, and be as well as possible, fulfill my job responsibilities, and then go back home, to spend a nice evening there, trying to enjoy the sensations. The problem is now everything is numb. Not completely, but it is not how it used to anymore. Now it is numb and scarred, and that is how I found the strength to continue without you, knowing your skin is forever unreachable.
I yearn for you so badly. I can't bear it anymore.
It hurts deep inside missing you... needing you by my side. Listening to our songs, and crying, knowing all is lost, and forever. I can see hope, and light at the end of the tunnel. I have found love, and honesty, and friendship, and I am grateful, but still it is unbearable to miss you like I do now, and always will.
And then one day, my love, your eternity comes to an end. My life that goes on, your death that goes on.
I stayed by his body all that day, and all the following night. He grew cold beneath me, little by little. He took so long to die! I was lying on top of him. The moment of his death actually escaped me, because at that moment, and even afterwards, I couldn't find the slightest difference between his dead body and my own. His body and mine seemed to me to be one and the same.
We were in a hotel, our favourite hotel, where we had spent the night after a great dinner. We woke up early, as always. I am not a morning person, but feeling he was drifting away from my hands like water, I wanted to take any chance everyday to stare deep into his eyes and know he was real, that he was with me still, holding, kissing, calling my name swiftly. We called and ordered breakfast, and had it while holding hands, drinking our glasses with champagne while giggling and getting naked, and excited. 
Soon I was over him, like so many other times, and kissed him deeply. "When I first saw you I fell in love, and you smiled because you knew". My exquisite lover, reciting Shakespeare while making love, while sweating, staring deep into my eyes. I could feel both our bodies trembling, shaking, with pleasure, and suddenly he felt it, his heart finally failing on him. He grabbed me close, and kissed me, while tears filled his beautiful blue eyes. "Promise me you will be happy". I couldn't respond, as I felt life left him slowly, and consciousness of this world and its problems were not in his mind anymore. 
I held on to him for a while, trying to hear another heartbeat on his chest, another slow breath from his mouth. Nothing.
Devour me, deform me to your likeness, so that no one after you will ever again understand the reason for so much desire. We'll be alone, my love. Night will never end.
The complicity and secrets we share, my love, will always be only ours, and they went away with you forever...
Time will pass. Only time. And a time will come when we can no longer name what it is that binds us. Its name will gradually be erased from our memory until it vanishes completely.

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